An ex-soviet slavic professor and corrupt buerocrat with ties to russian oligarchs was teaching a class on Vladimir Putin, known authoritarian.
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Putin and accept that he is the most highly-evolved being that the world has ever known, even greater than Vitali Klitschko.”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, ukranian amateur boxer and student of nuclear engineering who had demonstrated for 80 days and understood the necessity of bloodshed as part of a revolutionary transition to democracy stood up and held a map.
“What does this map show?”
The arrogant academic smirked like a KGB torturer and smugly replied “Clearly it shows the Crimean Oblast, you stupid bydlo.”.
“Wrong,”, said the brilliant protester. “It shows the Autonomous Republic of Crimea, which is part of Ukraine, a candidate for NATO membership and future member of the European Union.”
The professor was visibly shaken and dropped his signed copy of Judo with Vladimir Putin. He stormed out of the room shedding tears out of grief about the breakup of the Soviet Union.
The students applauded and all registered to join Vitali Klitschko's boxing club, rejected their ethnic russian identity, learned polish and voted Ukrainian Democratic Alliance for Reform soon thereafter. An eagle named “Marina” flew into the room and shed a tear upon an ukrainian gas pipeline.
All parties involved gave up nuclear weapons and the right to buy cheap russian gas.